only if we run a train.
done.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
