What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
