you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
