So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
