Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
