how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
