I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize