Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
well you can't waste a boner
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
