So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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