I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
