This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
