and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
