im about as happy as oj after his trial
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
