The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
