This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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