Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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