her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
