I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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