As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
