I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
