No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
