You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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