I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
