Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
