there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
