i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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