Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
