So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
