dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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