Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
