Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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