just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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