Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
