I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize