on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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