I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
