Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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