Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
