Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
