Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
