Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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