just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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