Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
