You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Randomize
