dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
