well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
