is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
