I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
