I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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