Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
