Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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