Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She told me I should be a condom model.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
