Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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