apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
