I murdered the dance floor call the cops
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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