He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
