Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
