Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
