one two three fourrrrnication!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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