My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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