my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
