this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize