Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
