Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
