First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just had sex on a roof
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
