He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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