at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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