I must be too annoying 4 u.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize