marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
