Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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