who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
