just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
